From Wench to Woman
by ChIbI rIn
Summary: Inu can't swear, Miroku can't grope, and Sango has to what! RR to find out what happens when the group is introduced to a game of Truth or Dare!


A/N: hey! Sry im getting side tracked from my other story, but I had this cute idea for a one shot! I hope u like it!  
  
Shout out 2 all my reviewers: I LUV U GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (erm, gals to, u know wut I mean.....)  
  
=====================================================================

It's a peaceful day in the Sengoku Jidai.....  
  
"Oi, wench, you're late!" Inuyasha called.  
  
Well, it _was_ peaceful.  
  
'Uh-oh, not this again. It always ends in pain, mostly for Inuyasha...' Miroku and Sango both thought.  
  
"No I'm not. I left two days ago, said I'd be back yesterday. I came back yesterday for an hour, then went back home. You didn't tell me when I had to be back again…" Kagome stated matter-of-factly.  
  
Shippo was becoming skittish from not hearing a 'sit' yet.  
  
Inuyasha had stopped listening after 'no'. He was also becoming dizzy because Kagome kept on rambling on and on and was still talking. He only knew one way to make her quiet, but at a cost....  
  
"And then…"  
  
His poor ears couldn't take any more  
  
"Wench," he so reverently called her, "Shut up."  
  
"Inuyasha, my name's not wench." Kagome paused she was trying to keep her cool. She started to walk away, before glancing over her shoulder and calling back.  
  
"Osuwari."  
  
A pink light engulfed Inuyasha's neck and a thud was heard. 

=====================================================================

Later on in the day, everyone is sitting around the campfire talking.........  
  
"So, wench, what kept ya?"  
  
"Inuyasha, my name is Kagome. K a g o m e ! Not wench!"  
  
"Sure it is, WENCH."  
  
"Inuyasha, OSUWARI!"  
  
Kagome walked off for a brief second with her aura flickering hotly and came back with the scariest 'happy' face she had ever worn. She remembered something and was about to dish out revenge.  
  
"How 'bout I teach you guys a game that we girls play in our time when we have sleepovers." It was more of a statement then a question.  
  
"Do guys have 'sleepovers' WITH girls?" Miroku asked oh so innocently. He was seriously considering going over to Kagome's time now.   
  
No answer, he was just ignored. Though, his question earned him a good whack on the head from Sango.  
  
"Owww, what was that for?" he asked. Crickets chirped.  
  
"Houshi-sama, you're such a hentai! What are we going to do with you?" Sango sighed.   
  
Miroku thought about the question for a whole two seconds until a perverted grin crept onto his face.  
  
"Oh Sango, I know what you could do with me." Miroku replied in his most alluring voice possible. He didn't even stand a chance, the poor guy, but he deserved it. Sango was vigorously and mercilessly beating Miroku over the head with Hiraikotsu.  
  
"Ummm, back to the game," Kagome said a little nervously while wondering how Miroku managed to survive Sango's consistent beatings without receiving some serious head trauma.  
  
"Keh! It's probably just some stupid game..." he paused. "What is it?" Inuyasha asked curiously trying hard not to sound too interested.  
  
"Why, Inuyasha, I'm so glad you asked," Kagome cooed, her voice dripping with more sarcasm than honey. "How about I give a little demonstration. Any volunteers?"  
  
Sango and Miroku carefully avoided Kagome's fake smile. Inuyasha was all too oblivious to notice.  
  
"Inuyasha I'll take you for an accomplice." Kagome started to explain the rules and nature of the game. "It's called Truth or Dare. I will call on Inuyasha. Inuyasha, why don't you come over here and take a seat and SIT down by me," she called sweetly. A string of curses, naturally, followed. "Tsk tsk, such a potty mouth, don't you think so Sango?" Miroku commented. Everyone was surprised that he was conscious so soon.  
  
"Why you're so right hou-" A tick started in her left eyebrow. "HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!" Sango began her routine of hitting Miroku over the head senseless. Like he had any to begin with...   
  
Miroku and Sango's conversation gave Kagome an idea.  
  
"Inuyasha, truth or dare?" 'I hope he picks dare!' she thought.  
  
"Feh, I don't have any secrets to tell and you don't scare me, so dare."  
  
'Yes!' Kagome was inwardly doing a little dance we'd like to call the psycho ward....  
  
"Inuyasha," This was going to be too much fun. "I dare you to not swear for a whole 24 hours, that includes wench and witch."  
  
'That's it?!' Miroku and Sango thought. 'Gosh, couldn't she have come up with something better?' Sango felt an unwanted presence on her rear and pulled her giant boomerang from out of nowhere.  
  
Miroku is knocked out, again.  
  
"Keh, that's way to easy wen...." Kagome was giving him a fearsome glare, and if looks could kill, Inuyasha and the rest of the group would be six feet under.  
  
"…Woman," he grudgingly corrected himself.   
  
"Now that's better." Kagome said. 'Oho! This is too great!' she thought.  
  
Miroku has now once again regained consciousness.  
  
'Hmmmm, Kagome might have something here...' Miroku and Sango thought simultaneously.  
  
"Congrats Kag!" Miroku said.  
  
"Yeah, congratulations on your dare!" Sango gave Kagome a hug.  
  
Miroku was giving her a high five, what no one else noticed was that his other hand was snaking around... he sneaked in a rub.  
  
'Here it comes,' Shippo thought. 'One, two, three-'  
  
"HENTAI!!!!!" Miroku was receiving so many slaps that he was spinning in circles until he collapsed on the ground with a perverted grin on his face and swirly eyes.  
  
"Do you think we hit him too hard?" Kagome bent over to check on him.  
  
Because everyone was looking at his face, no one noticed his hand wandering precariously close to Sango's behind. Fortunately for the taijia, she had a sixth sense for this sort of thing. Sango whacked him over the head.  
  
"Obviously not hard enough." Sango pointed out dryly.  
  
"Oh, Miroku!" she called.  
  
"Yes, my lovely Lady Sango?"  
  
"Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare."  
  
"I, Sango, dare you, Miroku, to act like a fruitcake for an entire 24 hours. That includes no groping or asking women to bear your children."  
  
Miroku's world comes crashing down on him. 'Noooooooooooooo!!!! What torture!' "My dear Sango, I'm saddened by the fact that you think so lowly of me."  
  
"She thinks too highly of you, that's why you're not dead." Kagome commented.  
  
"Oh yes, and I appreciate every minute of life she gives me!" Miroku chirped. (hee hee miroku chirped.)  
  
"Only a lech such as yourself could find that statement even the slightest bit perverted." She replied.  
  
"Alright, Kagome, truth or dare?" Miroku threw back at her.  
  
'I can't have him asking questions like "How do you feel about Inuyasha?" or,' she gave a small shiver, 'who knows what else.' "Alright Miroku, dare me."  
  
"I, Miroku,"  
  
"The hentai houshi," Sango added.  
  
"Dare you, Kagome, to walk around us without any clothes, but, instead, two strips of cloth," Miroku declared with a lecherous grin on his face. Kagome was slightly dumbfounded. Inuyasha snapped her out of it.  
  
"Hey, it's nothing we haven't seen before," he commented, referring to her bathing suit he and Miroku had caught her in while bathing in the hot springs. 'Oops, I'm dead,' Inuyasha thought despairingly.  
  
"INUYASHA!" Kagome was fuming. "OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI!!!"  
  
Everyone including Kagome cringed at the sound of , 'thud thud thud thud thud thud thud.' Miroku held out the long strips of cloth.  
  
Miroku held out the long strips of cloth.  
  
"Oh, Sango, I need your help," Kagome called. Sango and she whispered conspiratorially together, too low for even Inuyasha to hear. Though, his ears were already filled to the rim with dirt from being six feet under after all that sitting.  
  
"Okay!" they both squealed.  
  
"Inuyasha, Inuyasha get up!" Miroku ordered, prodding Inuyasha's head.  
  
"Easy for you to say, you weren't sat seven times."  
  
"Inuyasha, I think the girls are planning something."  
  
Too late. The girls pounced, their first target: Inuyasha.  
  
"What are you doing wen-" He caught himself just in time.  
  
"Inuyasha, if you dare take off this blindfold, I will sit you to hell and back." Kagome said. Inuyasha gulped. Miroku was slowly trying to inch away.  
  
"Oh no you don't houshi!" Sango ran after him and slapped a blindfold around his eyes, too. Only one left now...   
  
"Shippo!" Kagome called. "If you don't peek I'll give you chocolate!"  
  
"Yummy! I love those brown rectangles!" Shippo said, already bouncing with anticipation for the upcoming sugar high. "I'll do it!"  
  
"Alright, now Kag, you have to stick to your end of the deal and," she glared at the two blind-folded men, "no peeking," Sango huffed.  
  
Kagome did what she had to do, but first went to search for some melons with Sango.  
  
"You sure this will work?" she asked.  
  
"Of course it will," Sango replied.  
  
'I can't believe I'm doing this,' thought Kagome. "Oh Miroku, here I am!" she gave him a squeeze with only her arms, she had her clothes back on. In truth, she hadn't taken them off in the first place, but no one except Sango knew that. They quickly placed the melons onto Miroku's chest.  
  
"Oh, Kagome!" he moaned. "Your skin is so soft! So smooth! So…lumpy?" The overly ripe melons caved in and oozed juices all over Miroku from the pressure.  
  
"Miroku you can take your blindfold off now," Kagome called.  
  
"Ewwwwwwww!" Shippo said. "Miroku stinks." Inuyasha had already taken off his blindfold and was rolling in laughter. Everyone else joined in, until Sesshoumaru stepped up and questioned, "Should I ask?" he just walked off after that.  
  
"Why, Inuyasha, I didn't know you had a sister!" Miroku had noticed Sesshoumaru walking away. "Wait! Come back fair lady! Will you…" Miroku trailed off as he caught Inuyasha's snicker. "Umm…what's wrong?" Miroku asked, which sent Inuyasha into another set of hysterics.  
  
"Oh no Miroku, be my guest! Go right ahead and ask my _sister_ to bear your child! I'm sure _she'll _agree!" Inuyasha smirked, ensuring he emphasized the more feminine pronouns.  
  
"But, Inuyasha, that was your brother. You don't have any sisters," Shippo said, slightly confused.  
  
"Miroku you're more of a fruitcake than we thought!" Sango and Kagome said between laughter.  
  
"Hey everybody! I haven't had my turn to ask Sango a question!" Miroku called.  
  
"Houshi-sama, you already asked Kagome," Sango said.  
  
"Well, Shippo is too young to play this game, so, Inuyasha it's your turn to ask Sango," Kagome stated.  
  
"Sango, do you have feelings for Miroku?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"Dare." Sango did not want to answer that question.  
  
'Darn,' Miroku thought.  
  
"Sango, I dare you to..." he paused. "To act as appealing and sexy as possible towards Miroku for the next twenty-four hours." Inuyasha said. Sango glared. "Don't worry, remember, Miroku isn't allowed to grope or anything," he added. Sango visibly relaxed.   
  
"Ummm, I think that's enough truth or dare for one night," Kagome stated.  
  
"Okay," everyone replied.  
  
"I know! Let's roast marshmallows!!" Shippo squealed.  
  
"Yum!" said Miroku.  
  
"You know what's even better than roasting marshmallows by the fire?" Sango asked as seductively as possible. Poor Miroku, if only Sango wasn't acting. "I can show you what's better," she cooed. 

Miroku was practically drooling. If he hadn't been dared, he would have taken up on her offer in a heartbeat. 

"Oh well, I guess you don't want me to bear your children. We were going to have so much fun too. Oh poo," Sango snapped her fingers and pouted in exaggeration. Miroku was heartbroken. He had the chance of a lifetime at his fingertips. He started to contemplate whether or not he should stick to his dare when...a flying projectile smacked Inuyasha on the right side of his head. 

"Oh ffff-" Inuyasha began, before catching Kagome's glare, "fart! You little bbb-bas, err bad boy!" he finished lamely. Shippo had flung a marshmallow into Inuyasha's hair. Inuyasha was trying sooo hard not to swear.  
  
"Oh, Inuyasha, we'll just have to cut it." Kagome sighed, attempting to pull the gooey mess from his hair, but to no avail. This was going to be harder than it sounded.  
  
"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! You can't make me!" Inuyasha pouted. (kawaii!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
"Inuyasha, it won't come out no matter how hard I try," Kagome tried to reason, then, when all else failed….   
  
"Inuyasha, sit. Gomen, but it's for your own good."  
  
"Aww but my hair is gonna be uneven now!" he whined like a five year old, with more pouty lips. (sry OOC but soo kawaii)  
  
"Well, I'll just do the other side then, too." He tried to squirm away, but saw that Kagome had a sit about to roll off of her tongue and stopped.  
  
And that, my friends, is the history of Inuyasha's tuffs of hair where his human ears would be. Now, back to the story!  
  
"Good night everyone!" Kagome chirped.  
  
"Good night," everyone else grumbled out, exhausted from the dares. They took too much mental and physical effort, that is except for Kagome, Shippo, and Kirara. Inuyasha climbed into the nearest tree to keep watch and to also humor himself. 

With his aerial view he could see and hear everything happening down at the camp, from Kagome's singing to Miroku's sleep-groping attempts on what he thought was Sango, but was really Kagome's overly stuffed backpack. The night was uneventful and insomnia soon began to take its toll. 

In the morning everyone watched with fascination at the scene playing before them. Miroku had somehow wormed his way all the way over to a tree.  
  
'Oh, Sango,' Miroku moaned. Of course, he was dreaming. Everyone watched in humor, or maybe horror, as Miroku started to make out with the tree, his hands roaming the hard bark. "Oh Sango, take off your armor." He kept going for another minute until, he felt something sticky. 

All of a sudden he could no longer move his hands and his mouth was stuck to the tree due to the sap. Everyone watched as his eyes bulged when he realized what he had been doing. Kikyou just then decided to pay a visit to the clearing.  
  
"Uhhh…hmm, well," she cleared her throat. "I see that you have enough problems without me, Inuyasha, so I'll just leave and come back for you later." And leave she did. Kikyo herself was slightly disturbed by the public display of affection to the tree. 

Inuyasha, stunned for a second, began to howl in laughter. Sango and Kagome were rolling in hysterics while tears streamed down their eyes as Miroku fervently tried to pry himself off of the tree. Shippo was still asleep and poor Kirara just didn't understand.  
  
"Oh," Sango said, "I wanted to inform you guys that I heard of a rumor about a shard."  
  
"Where is it?" Kagome and Inuyasha asked simultaneously.  
  
"Thevillageofbeuatuifulwomeninbikinis," she said, her head held low.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's in the village of beautiful women! alright!" she huffed. "in bikinis." she mumbled barely audible for even the hanyou to discern, but hentai's pick up everything. Miroku was going to have a field day. Oh, wait, Miroku has to act gay. Her face lit up like a little girl on Christmas. "HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" Sango laughed.  
  
"Errr Sango-chan? What is it?"  
  
"Miroku has to act like a total fruitcake while we are in the Village of Beautiful Women because of that dare! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!" Sango thought that this was too rich. Realization hit Miroku as he freed himself from the sappy trunk of the tree. He slid down and landed on his bottom thinking, well, knowing that fate must really hate him.  
  
"Hmmm, legend says that you can only visit the village once," Myoga commented. Miroku face-faulted. This was his only chance and he was screwed and not the way he'd like it to be.  
  
"Oh, Miroku, I'd bear your child if you weren't gay, but, sadly, you are," Sango grinned devilishly, not looking very disappointed. She had to keep up her end of the dare, but truth be told, she was having fun messing with Miroku. (no perverted interpretations please) Miroku looked as if he'd died and gone to hell. Sango couldn't help, but feel a little sorry for Miroku, until... she felt a grope down her backside.  
  
"Couldn't last a day could you Miroku?" Hiraikotsu came into play. "You just can't control yourself!" Hits Miroku over the head. "What are we...never mind." She slapped him, and with that final sentiment, Sango was finished. 

===============================================================

On the way back from the Village of Beautiful Women, something hit Kagome. (not literally, figuratively)  
  
"Umm guys, did I ever tell you about the chicken rule?" she asked  
  
"Umm…no," they all answered. "What is it?" Kagome began to explain as their gazes shifted from ones of curiosity to ones with murderous intent.  
  
"You mean we could have gotten out of those stupid dares all along?" they growled.  
  
"I could have groped Sango earlier?"  
  
"I could have skipped seducing Miroku?"  
  
"Actually, no, since you skipped answering the truth, you had to finish your dare, Sango," Kagome explained.  
  
"I could have bloody well sworn my way half across this country without a sit?!" Inuyasha was not a happy puppy. Tension quickly rose as the silence stretched on.  
  
"Ermm, well…yes?" Kagome didn't feel too good. She plugged her ears and prepared for the worst.  
  
**"KAGOME!!!!!"**  
  
'Hey he used my name!' …. 'Uh oh, run!!!!' her mind screamed. "No! Nonononono! Inuyasha!!!! Lemme go!" she tried to make her way to the well for an easy escape. That way, she could wait out Inuyasha's anger.  
  
"And you are never going back to your time to learn anymore of those stupid games! You can only go back for ramen now! Got it?"  
  
"Inuyasha," there was warning in her voice. It might hurt her, and, well, him too, but it was well worth it. "Osuwari."  
  
They both fell to the ground, and, due to they're compromising position, Kagome somehow underneath it all and Inuyasha sprawled on top.  
  
"Inuyasha, get off!"   
  
"I can't, my legs are numb from the sit, I won't be able to get up for awhile. Anyways, don't you think this is a good enough punishment for the torture you inflicted?"  
  
"Torture? That game is harmless!" Everyone was quietly watching from the sidelines.  
  
"Harmless?! You call threats worth a thousand sits _harmless_?!"  
  
"Inuyasha, get off, your squishing me!"  
  
"What if I don't want to!"  
  
"I'll s-i-t you, that's what!"  
  
"Then you'll just get squished even more!"  
  
"Ugh, you're so frustrating! Hey! Shouldn't that sit have worn off by now?" Kagome's slip-up caused them to once again face the wrath of the prayer beads. "Oh Kami-sama..." 

===============================================================

As for Shippo, he and Kirara were lounging around in the meadow at the moment. Kirara was in her smaller form pouncing on butterflies then pawing at them with her claws so that she could continuously flip them. 

Shippo in the meantime was watching a beetle lazily crawl by. It was trying to reach a tree that Shippo figured to be its home. Shippo was bored so he decided to make obstacles for the poor unfortunate bug. First he laid out blades of grass, then leaves, then twigs.

For its last challenge, Shippo used his foxfire to create a tiny spark in front of the bug. Out of nowhere, the beetle pulled out a miniature bucket with a dewdrop in it and poured it over the spark.

The silence was broken when the beetle suddenly spoke in a high pitched squeaky voice and said, "Only _you_ can prevent forest fires." Shippo, not understanding a word of shrill English, absentmindedly flicked the bug halfway cross the meadow.

: - : - : ======================== The : End ======================== : - : - : 

A/N: haha! I hope you enjoyed reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget to review! 


End file.
